


Dismantle.Repair

by sugaplumvisions



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Derogatory Language, Dubcon if you squint, Heavy Angst, M/M, Misgendering, Trans Oikawa Tooru, Transphobia, age gap in one vignette, dom/sub dynamic in one vignette, everything is consensual but also real fucky, sex as self-harm, the dubcon is NOT between oihina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-01
Updated: 2020-07-01
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:26:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25008412
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sugaplumvisions/pseuds/sugaplumvisions
Summary: And Tooru knows he’s beautiful, but maybe he wants to be handsome for a day. He longs to be seen, and even though he’s nude he’s less naked than he’s ever been.
Relationships: Hinata Shouyou/Oikawa Tooru, Oikawa Tooru/Original Male Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 97
Collections: SportsFest 2020





	Dismantle.Repair

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanna say MIND THE TAGS. Why do I do these things to Oikawa?

He swears in Japanese, in bed, and the body he shares for a night laughs. 

“Tooru,” the man murmurs, the name clumsy on his Argentinian tongue, and that surprises Tooru more than anything, that his name was even remembered. 

The stranger in his bed thrusts in farther, leans down for a kiss. 

“Gonna fill you up, make you pregnant,” the man says, murmuring it into Tooru’s mouth as he pulls a hairsbreadth away, and Tooru loses the thread entirely. He forgets that he’s supposed to be having fun, that this is supposed to be for his pleasure. Or maybe it wasn’t, to begin with. 

“I don’t want that,” Tooru says. 

“It’s just dirty talk,” the man says. “I didn’t… I’m still wearing a condom.” 

Tooru pushes the man off him. 

“I can’t do this,” he says. He hastily pulls on his clothes and gets out his phone to call an Uber home. 

“Tooru, baby, listen to me,” the man says. 

“I’m not your baby,” Tooru spits, teeth clacking as he sets his chin. “And I’m not having any, either. You know that shit like that gives people dysphoria?” 

“I won’t say it again,” he says. “I’m sorry.” 

He’s not sorry. Tooru can tell. But a warm body is a warm body. 

“I’ll eat your pussy again,” the man says. “You liked that.” 

And it’s late and Tooru doesn’t want to go home, and he has a horrible case of blue balls, and he can’t bring himself to go back to an empty bed. 

So he doesn’t correct the man (again) that he calls it a cunt. 

So he shrugs off his clothes and binder. 

So he goes back to bed, because something is better than nothing. 

#####

“Fuck, fuck, right there,” Tooru moans. The man, a different man this time, (it’s always a different man) has his whole fist inside Tooru, and is wiggling his fingers just so. “Fuck, please.” 

Tooru throws his head back against the pillow and comes and comes and comes. 

“Good toy,” the man says, pulling out his hand. “Good little fuckdolls get what they deserve, now don’t they?” 

“Fuck me,” Tooru says, and in all actuality he lost interest in the sex as soon as the hand left him, but he has to be perfect for him, has to be gorgeous and sexy and pliant, so when the other man growls “Get on your hands and knees,” he obeys. 

Tooru doesn’t get much out of penetration by a cock, really. He feels the pounding into him, but it never hits the right spots, never gives him any satisfaction. He wonders if that’s the real problem with fucking gay men. They never know how to hit the g-spot. 

“You’re my first pussy, you know,” the man’s gravelly voice says behind him as he pushes in again. 

Tooru bites back the scathing response, the “I can tell,” and just pushes his face into the pillow and grinds back against the man. He reaches for his dick and jacks it between two fingers. 

When he moans, the man asks, “Like that?” as if anything he’s doing is good or right. 

“Yeah,” Tooru gasps out. “Please, sir, don’t stop.” And he doesn’t mean a thing, but as he feels the man pulse and spill into the condom, he feels triumphant. 

He did good. He was wanted. 

He lies awake in the man’s arms that night and wishes he were with someone who loved him. But babies need skin-to-skin contact to survive, and Tooru’s not sure he’s ever grown up. 

#####

He lost again. He knows he could have done better. The setter is the backbone of the team, so obviously it’s his fault. He opens up Grindr, looking for a fix. 

_ looking: i like the way you look. I love pleasuring trans. _

_ looking: i see that you’re around here; do you want to meet up so I can lick your pussy?  _

He’s 50, but that’s never stopped Tooru before. The older men are better, almost. They treat him like something precious, like he’s young and delicate, like he’ll slip through their fingers if he doesn’t let go. More importantly, Tooru has never learned to say no. 

“You’re beautiful,” the man mutters later, with his tongue between his legs. And Tooru knows he’s beautiful, but maybe he wants to be handsome for a day. He longs to be seen, and even though he’s nude he’s less naked than he’s ever been.    
  
The man reaches up and interlaces his fingers with Tooru’s, moaning as he dives back in. 

Despite everything, Tooru feels...worshipped. Adored. The high lasts him all the way home. . 

#####

Brazil is somewhere new. It’s supposed to get him out of his head. There’s new faces on grindr, new chasers to beg for him in their bed. 

It’s the hunt that’s the thrill, and the foreplay. The part where they laser focus on him, where he’s being pursued and wooed and lusted over. 

He has never invited a man into his home before, but in a hotel room, he can tarnish the space all he wants. He changes his name to “Hosting” and watches the messages roll in. If he wanted, he could have an orgy in the room, all focused on him. But that sounds exhausting. 

He juggles message after message, keeping his options open until one man begs to come see him. The others he keeps on standby, all of them begging to eat and fuck his pussy. He doesn’t bother telling them to say cunt anymore. 

“I think I love you,” one man says as they move together between the sheets. 

“I have to go home in a week,” Tooru says, but he kisses him hungrily. That night, he comes with a cock in him for the first time, the man rubbing Tooru’s dick as he rams into him. 

“See me again before you go,” the man says. “I think I’m going to miss you for the rest of my life.” 

When he leaves, Toru blocks his number.    
  


##### 

“Come home with me?” Hinata asks after dinner. There’s something hungry in his eyes, and Tooru finally relaxes. He knows this song and dance, knows how to give Hinata what he wants. 

“Of course,” Tooru says. His tongue flicks out to lick his lips and he watches Hinata laser-focus on that little hint of pink. 

They make out in the Uber to Hinata’s house, both of them too tired from a long day to walk. 

“Shouyou,” Tooru whispers as Hinata kisses a line down his neck.

Hinata presses against him, slipping his hand to Tooru’s crotch, and cocks his head, looking up at Tooru with a question in his eyes. 

“I’ll tell you when we get home,” he says. Please don’t hate me, he doesn’t say. You’re the first face I’ve seen here that brought me comfort, he doesn’t say. 

“Are you all right?” Hinata asks as the door to his apartment closes. “You’re not hard. Do you not want me? You don’t have to want me, you know.” 

“I want you,” Tooru says. “I just...you should probably know that I’m trans.” 

Hinata scrunches his eyebrows for a moment, and then his face lights up. 

“So you don’t not want me?” Hinata says. “Or, I mean, so you do want me?” 

“You don’t care?” Tooru asks, and sure, he’s met plenty of people who don’t, but he’s met just as many people who do, who swear at him and tell him to get off Grindr because he’s not a real man. 

“Why would I care?” Hinata asks. “I wanna fuck you, you wanna fuck me, I don’t see the problem.” 

Tooru is dangerously close to feeling something. 

Instead, he strips down. First his shirt, then his shorts. He hesitates as his hands touch his binder, but Hinata is looking at him with shining eyes. He pulls it over his head, and shrugs down his shorts and boxers. 

“You’re so handsome,” Hinata blurts out. He steps forward and slips a hand between Tooru’s legs. “You’re so wet...is all this for me?” He looks at Tooru like he hung the moon. 

“All for you,” Tooru says, and he’s surprised to find he means it. 

“Is there anywhere you don’t want me to touch?” Hinata asks. 

“Not the chest,” Tooru says. “Please, if you don’t mind.” 

“Why would I mind? I want to make you feel good. So you call that your chest. Anything else I should know about what you call things?” 

“How do you know all the right things to say?” Tooru asks. 

“It turns out I’m better at studying when it’s how to have sex good,” Hinata says. He shrugs. “I want to do right by you.” 

“Why?” Tooru asks. 

Hinata half-shrugs again, quirking up one shoulder. “Because I care about you.” 

Tooru doesn’t realize he’s crying until the tears hit his face, hot and salty and altogether unexpected. 

“Oikawa--Tooru? Are you okay? What did I do?” Hinata looks up at him, his eyebrows scrunched together again, and he looks on the verge of tears himself. 

Tooru takes a deep breath. “I don’t want to have sex today. But I want you to take your shirt off. And hold me.” 

Hinata pulls his shirt off in one fluid motion, nods, and smiles. “We don’t have to. We can watch scary movies and you can protect me in the creepy parts.” 

“That doesn’t mean I don’t want to have sex with you ever,” Tooru says. He reaches down and pulls on his shorts and boxers. 

“Okay,” Hinata says. Once Tooru’s done dressing, Hinata pulls him into a tight hug. “I’ll be here, you know. When you’re ready.” 

“Okay,” Tooru repeats. He breathes and relaxes into the embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks as always to my cheerleaders: Adri, Kou, Kia, and Sin Central. Love you guys!


End file.
